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November 21, 2014, 11:28:30 AM
HireScores.com Recruitment ForumCandidates, Job Seekers, Employees, Consultants & Contractors CentreYour experiences (Moderator: HireScoresMark)Keeping your own counsel
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MaryG
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« on: June 02, 2007, 06:34:15 PM »

I'm a pretty private person and after many years of working with lots of people I've discovered that I prefer to come in, do my job and keep my personal life at home. I worry sometimes that this makes me come across as standoffish or snobby when in reality I'm just more comfortable not having people know everything about me. (I'm also more comfortable not knowing everything about my co-workers!) Any suggestions on how to keep my own counsel and not seem as though I disapprove of my co-workers being so close?
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Lisette
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« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2007, 11:06:00 PM »

This is always a bit of a challenge. And with most things probably a bit of a compromise is required, so you do some stuff you might not otherwise do 'to fit in' but also have your own time as well. Generally talking about something like this can work as well - so to say to people - I am quite introverted but hope that this does not make me seem unfriendly.  I am always willing to help any co-worker, you just need to ask etc.
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Chevy
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« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2008, 04:10:25 PM »

You can keep your personal life private without coming off as completely impersonal. They don't need to know all the nitty gritty details, but it's okay that when a coworker is talking about their kids, you mention something similar yours child did at some point.....or giggling along to stories they tell, etc. If you don't want all their details either, you can kindly excuse yourself to do your work after one short story, etc. Just remain friendly, but don't get all wrapped up in their socializing.
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Robin Tetley
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« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2008, 12:09:44 PM »

I guess you can take an avid interest in other peoples issues and stories without automatically giving out lots of personal information about your own life.

I don't think this will be seen as stand off-ish necessarily. People that constantly talk about their own life can be a bit taxing after a while where as the person who listens and expresses genuine interest and advice is a much more bearable character.

How many times do people moan about somebody "always talking about themselves" where as it's rare that people moan about somebody who's thoughtful and reserved. 
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Gota
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« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2008, 11:26:28 AM »

I was just saying in another topic, to listen takes great skill where as to talk is easy.

Anybody can hear but to really listen takes a gift.

I would only open up with a colleague I felt a great affinity with. 
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